Pathetic !!

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate myself now..

I hate me, I hate me, I hate me !!!!

It's all over now..

Everything is ruined !

There's no future for me..

Everything is so dark..

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

I don't know why is this happening to me...

I want to accept it but I can't..

Everyone's so fine but not me..

I don't know what can I do..

I don't want to stay in this country anymore..

I want to go somewhere there's nobody knows me..

Oh, Allah, please make my mind and heart in peace..

This is very torturing...

I can't hold it anymore..

What a horrible day for me and what a wonderful evening for me

This is how I looked like right now

Today, SPM results were out..

I straight away went to school to take my results from the stupid people's state..

I found it was a horrible day when I got my results..

Most of my friends seemed to be so happy with what they got..

But not me..

I'm not happy..

I'm totally depressed..

Everyone kept asking me what I got for the results..

Everyone, friends, family, all of them..

Non stop getting message from morning till night..

I was so sad..

Really really sad..

Everyone, don't ask me..

Please~

I need time to accept what I got..

This evening, I went to Jusco with Azureen..

We planned to watch Alice in Wonderland..

But then, when we arrived, the tickets were sold out for 4.15 P.M.

Then, we walked around, went to MPH Bookstores, window shopping and also went to Pizza Hut to eat..

Both of us were discussing about the menu and suddenly came out a suggestion to watch the movie at 6.30 P.M.

After we ordered our food, Azureen ran out from the restaurant and bought the tickets..

Finally, we got to watch Alice in Wonderland together..

The movie ended at 8.30 P.M.

It was a wonderful movie to us..

Haha..

Sangat syok la~ :)

My brother fetched us and send Azureen home..

I told her that we should go out again next time..

I feel comfortable to go out with her..

Really.. ^^

Maybe we got most of the things in common and could easily understand each other..

Haha..

It's just that, I'm more like a straight forward person and she's not..

Hehe..

But we didn't take pictures together..

Maybe it is because I'm not that kind of person who likes to take pictures in public..

I feel it is really embarrassing..

But it depends on my mood too..

Never mind, we still have it in our memories..

At least I wrote it in my blog too.. ^^

Depressions came after Happiness

Depressions came after happiness..

That is what I'm going through right now..

I don't know why must it be like this..

After having fun at Min's house few days ago, my mood change..

Maybe I can't have too much fun or else I will feel like this..

SPM results date is confirmed..

It will be coming out this Thursday..

On the 11th of March..

I'm worrying about my results..

I scared I will disappoint my parents..

Their hope towards me..

I always prayed to Allah, of course..

I was so envy my friend who got a good results in her dream..

Isn't it so good..

I'm so scared and always feel like crying every time thinking about it.

Yesterday, I just arrived at this stupid new place..

I hate this place..

Especially the driving instructor..

I planned to finished the lessons this week and also having the test this week if possible..

Insyallah, boleh pass test tu nanti..

Harap2 la..

2 Days that give me happiness...

This recent two days, brought happiness to me..
But the first day, I had a conflict which cause my mood to be down for a while..
It returned to normal mood in the evening..

I went somewhere..
Somewhere in this world until this afternoon..
I had so much fun..
So happy..
嬉しいです.. ^^

The second day, I did something for lunch..
Not only me, but with another two..
Hahah.. XD
It was so funny, yet impressive...
Not bad, not bad.. =p

What are your dreams trying to tell you?

Few days ago, I answered a quiz in Facebook..
The title of the question is "What are your dreams trying to tell you?"..
It caught my attention and I feel like want to try answer it..
And I did..

My results is I'm depressed..
The description is as follows:
You're dreams are almost always so real that you don't know if you dreamt it or not. Your mind is working so hard to sort through all that is bothering you. Your dreams are about your family or friends and things that are actually happening in your life... just with a crazy twist that leaves you even more confused.

When I read the description, it was so true..
I don't know maybe just a coincidence..
I always dream of something that happens in my life..
And sometimes it came true..
It really scares me..

Recently, I dreamed of getting Super Junior concert ticket by winning a contest..
And I know, I won't get it in real life..
But I dreamed in a dream..
At first I got the SuJu's concert ticket, but then I woke up in a dream and there's no concert ticket..
Isn't it so scary?

But I just pray to Allah that all the bad things are not true, that came out in the dream..
I trust Him more than anything..
Sometimes I was in dilemma..
Some of my friends will send a message regarding our success in life and must forward to a number of friends..
And I did not do it, I will fail..

I don't want to trust this kind of message..
But sometimes I will feel bad I didn't forward it..
Of course I worked hard and bertawakal..
I keep on praying to Allah that my results will be excellent..
I just can bertawakal for now..
I hope my results will be good..
Insyaallah..

Outing with cousin sister

This afternoon I went out with my cousin sister..
She asked me this morning whether want to go out together or not..
I accepted her offer and she fetched me around 12 noon..

We planned to play bowling at Jusco..
We played around 3PM..
Before that, we went for lunch and did Zohor prayer at the nearest surau..
Hahah..


Then we went to the MPH Bookstore because I want to find the book that I wanted..
But there isn't any stock of that book and the salesgirl recommended another book from the same author..
At first, I feel like want to wait for the book that I want to arrive, but after I saw the author's name, I decided to buy it..
Aaaa~ I'm happy to have it..
Kkk...
My cousin sister also bought a book..
A religious book..

And guess what I saw at the MPH Bookstore???!
I saw that guy!!
That guy, that guy!!
But I didn't see his face..
I just saw his eyes..
OMG!!!
It drives me CRAZEE~
@_@
No, no, no...

I told my cousin sister about it..
And guess what she said..
She said I'm so horny! O.o
WTH???
Hahah..
She said she only joking..
So whatever la~
XXD

Relieved, relieved, relieved

JaeKwon

Yesterday, I read on this one blog about the fan meeting conference two days ago..
The rumors about other members said badly about Jay is not true..
Rumors are rumors..

I know it's ridiculous for other member to criticize Jay..
It makes no sense since they had been training together for the past eleven years..
They still respect each other and respect their leadja..
Even Jay ans Kwon also seems to be a good friends..
I think Jay's fans are too fanatic about him and can't accept the truth that he's not coming to 2PM..
I rather him come back as a solo artist or join another group..

Now also he seems very happy with his life..
By b-boying with his friends in Seattle..
I'm sure he did all this for the sake of other members..
He doesn't want his members in troubled just because of him..

Although at first he seemed like a bad boy from his physical appearance and face expressions..
But he's a really nice person..
He cared about his team mates and won't let them down..
All the reactions and attitude in their show before was not fake..
It's coming from the bottom of their hearts..
Sincerity, love and care for each other are true..